Trepidation
by AoiBaraKa
Summary: After a bomb takes everything away from him,Ichigo Kurosaki is brought into the military under Shirosaki after said albino saves him from death. AU HichixIchi
1. Chapter 1

**Title: Trepidation**

**Pairing: HichixIchi**

**Disclaimer: Tite Kubo owns Bleach and its characters**

**Rating: Um…T? And will **_**eventually **_**go up. Just give me some time.**

**Warnings: violence, shounen ai, gore in the first few chapters; death, angst, and the characters are a tad OOC. **

**A/N: **First gore…

A thundering crash. A devastating fall. Agonized wails of students exploding from the unexpected eruption of raw nuclear power, reducing them to nothing more than unrecognizable bloody carcasses that fell lifelessly to the incinerated floor.

That's all he remembered before he to fell victim to the explosions wrath.

High school student, Ichigo Kurosaki groaned, fluttering hazed over ocher eyes open before squeezing them back shut as a rolling wave of nausea forced itself upon him. In the middle of the wreckage he lay fairly unharmed besides for the fractured shoulder blade, but unfortunately the same couldn't be said about his classmates who had scattered among the debris due to the power of the explosion.

Cracking an eye open, he gazed at the ruins of his school and town, taking in the condition of the landscape around him. Many of the telephone polls and trees had fallen and crashed into nearby objects, some objects even being a person or two. Windows from shops and other buildings had shattered out and some of the larger windows even managed to impale an unlucky person through the stomach or chest, gravity slowly bringing their own body down the glass spike as it gradually split them in two.

He actually remembered reading something about a so-called 'vampire' whose favorite torture method was to impale someone upon a sharpened wooden stake. The end of the stake was oiled so the victim wouldn't die to quickly, and normally the stake would be inserted into the body through the anus and forced through the body until it emerged through the mouth. However in some other incidents they where also stabbed through the chest or abdomen.

Ichigo actually admired that man for a short period of time, but now, seeing it actually happen in front of his very eyes, he knew this was no admirable deed. It was murder.

Honey eyes narrowed into angry slits as he grabbed at the dirt under his fingers.

He knew it was all gone.

His entire life.

Everything he knew. Obliterated.

It was like a nightmare, but this was something he knew he couldn't awaken from and everything would be okay. This was reality no matter how much he wanted to scream and deny it.

All his life he had been blessed with exceptionally acute senses, so as he lay in despair and was forced by his own body to be informed on every casualty of every person he knew, it seemed more like a curse then anything else.

The fresh smell of blood mixed with smoke. The feeling of the warmth slowly dripping away from each victim, leaving them pale and cold. And then the silence. Not even the whimper of a soul barely clinging to life could be heard. Even the fire that quickly enveloped his town was as silent as the wind.

But suddenly, an angel of hope descended upon him. It wasn't much, but it was still there. A cough. That's all it was. But it didn't matter. Someone else was alive!

Determination sparked within his eyes, and his body was lit with a will to live and find this other survivor. Find them and leave this wrenched island to a place not plagued by endless war between sides supporting meaningless causes and opinions of how life should be lived.

Staggering upright, he began to trudge to the source of the sound, finally coming to a small clearing where a teen he recognized immediately lay.

"Rukia!" He cried, rushing to her side.

She was barely even there, but he could tell her soul was fighting to live. Her small frame was heaving up and down rapidly as she gasped for the sweet oxygen her lungs cried for greedily, and to Ichigo's unbridled horror, both of the petite girl's legs where blown to smithereens, leaving two bloody stumps that leaked pearly white puss and blood in unreasonable proportions.

"R-Rukia!" He cried again, gently shaking her so not to cause too much pain. Her dazed violet eyes slowly turned to him, and she smiled.

"Thank goodness…your alive…" She said weakly, reaching a trembling hand to his face. "I'm…so happy you're alive…"

"Yeah, yeah. Don't worry about me, we have to get you help!"

She slowly shook her head, and she looked back into her friends sad honey eyes that where practically on the brink of tears. "No Ichigo."

"No? The hell do you mean by 'no'?"

"I want you to leave me."

"Like hell!"

Moving her hand from his face to his shirt, she roughly clenched the collar in her fist and pulled him close. "There is no time to argue…. hurry…hurry and get off this island. Find a safe place to hide away from the army…you can't trust either sides…"

"Heh. Like I didn't know that."

"I mean it Ichigo…you possess something inside you…. something very important…."

"Rukia…what are you talking about?"

"Both sides crave what you have. Make sure they don't get it."

"I don't understand…"

"Flee the island Ichigo…leave me and flee…"

"I already said I won't leave you! We'll get off this island together and…and…you can't give up now!"

"Ichigo!" She shouted, coughing when the strain on her throat got to her. "Just look at me… my legs are gone and I'm just loosing too much blood. I'd just be in your way."

"Not true!" He shouted. "I'll just carry you! It'll be ok! It'll…it will…"

Rukia smiled and wiped a saline drop from Ichigo's cheek. "You where always such a cry baby when we where little…"

"This is no time to be reminiscing! We have to get you to safety!"

"No. I already told you. I'd just weigh you down. If you do not want my death to be in vain, escape… please…"

"No…"

"You must! You must protect it…protect it with everything you have…."

"Protect? Protect what?! Rukia! I don't understand!"

She parted her lips, just about ready to say something when her eyes widened drastically in panic as she stared at something just beyond Ichigo's shoulder. Turning around, he was met with the image of a figure dressed in all white, pointing a rifle aimed directly at his heart.

"Aw come on, don't stop your little conversation on my account…" The figure said, grinning sadistically as he pulled the trigger.

What happened next felt like floating in water. Everything seemed to take a slower feel, and even the bullet that raced out the barrel seemed to slow to a stop.

He was ready to die, and embraced the feeling completely. Now, he could die along with his friends…

Bang.

Blood blossomed from the wound like a blooming red flower and coated the ground below in spatters of red rain.

The man frowned. "Gezz, if only she stayed down. She would have lived longer. Oh well No loss."

The teen's lower lip quivered as Rukia's lifeless body fell to the ground. She…she had saved him…she had blocked the bullet from killing him with herself…she was gone….gone….

A sudden anger developed inside of him, and before he could think of an alternate plan, he suddenly found himself charging at the figure with all the fires of hell fueling his anger.

But not even hell could protect him as he too suffered the bite of a bullet to the heart.

The salty sea air whipped at the albinos wild spiky hair; his golden eyes tearing a bit from the wind rushing at him. His stiff green uniform and sturdy spiked black combat boots where damp from the saline ocean spray that splashed him over the stainless steel rail of his divisions' navel ship, causing a slight chill. He sighed, and wiped away some eye crust that was beginning to form in his eyes. Shiro fiddled with his belt, flicking at the grenade pouch on his side, and fingered the small daggers and pistols he stored, wincing in pain when he stuck himself against one of his knifes. The albino brought his slightly bleeding finger up, and licked it pensively.

His fleet was on its way to Karakura Island, Japan. One of their bases was located there; and Supreme General Yamamoto sent his and Squad 2 too eliminate invading 'Arrancar', or at least that was what they called their soldiers in Hueco Mundo and in the capitol city, Los Noches.

His squad had recently received a report that a small band of Arrancar lead by their leader, Commander Grimmjow Jeagerjaques had bombed their base on Karakura Island, and were massacring the squad on the Island along with its entire population, most likely trying to set up a base of their own on the remote island. That's the reason the two fleets were on the way right now, to disband and destroy these Arrancar.

**A/N:** Super sorry this is so short. Sorry if it's confusing…. You know what stinks? I wanted to add this:

_He could hear their skin rip from their bone and sizzle into ashy nothingness and how their skulls would grow brittle and charred until they finally shattered from the heat of being roasted._

But I couldn't because you can't have silence with noise….


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: **A few days ago on the bus, I overheard someone talking about the numbers of pi. When I got home, I googled the billionth number of pi and got this twelve foot long page of all these numbers which then I tried to copy and paste on a word document. It didn't go so well.

* * *

Docking at the side of the soot colored bay, squad members of each fleet emptied from the ship in an organized flow of black uniforms and readied weaponry. Strapping a large machine gun almost the size of himself onto his back and slinging ropes of ammunition across his chest he lastly stepped off from the large ramp onto the wet sand, leaving large boot marks in the ground.

Facing rows of stern looking soldiers, he waited for his fellow leading officer Soifon and her bumbling idiot of a lieutenant to ready her punishment force as well.

As her group settled down, both captains began barking various orders at their men about the situation and what to do if an enemy is seen, who then all saluted simultaneously with a chorus of sturdy, 'Yes Sirs!' as they finished.

Dismissing their armed forces, both watched as the many men and women darted all around the terrain, shooting at anything that looked suspicious, or that moved for that matter.

Turing to the second squadrons' leader, she then turned to her bulky lieutenant who was currently at work picking his small nose with his fairly large pinky.

Shaking her head and sighing, the obviously annoyed raven haired woman asked her 2nd seat in a dull tone, "Oi Marechiyo, you coming or what?"

"Or are you gonna keep pickin' that snot filled brain of yours?" The albino added.

The female captains thin black eyebrow rose in amusement. "Brain? What brain Shiro?"

"Hey! I have a brain! It's just hidden by all my thoughts!"

"Yeah, yeah. And Byakuyas' the most lively guy around." Shiro called, walking away from the large sea traveling vessel.

Trudging through debris and over jagged slates of concrete sticking treacherously from the ground, he landed with a watery thud in a puddle of thick brown water that had a few clumps of hair floating sorrowfully.

Wiping gathering beads of sweat from his forehead, he swiveled his head all around the barren, destroyed town, searching for a sign of life may it be a native or enemy.

A sudden strangled cough directed the albinos golden eyes to a far corner where a sufficiently bleeding teenager lay. His body lay bruised and battered with an assortment of small and large cuts littering his bleeding form, but the nastiest thing was the incredibly large hole in the boys' chest right where his heart should be. It oozed and beat with still living insides despite the fact the boy should be dead from the tremendous wound, and right next to where the heart should be, a dark purple orb swirled and beat like an organ itself.

Running towards the youth in a panic, he slowly lowered himself into a squatting position next to the coughing orange-haired teen and pushed the button attached to his belt, activating he communication ear bud he wore that curved down near his mouth into a small mic.

"This is Captain Shirosaki Ogihci of he fifth division. I need back-up stat. I have a survivor."

A horrible blast shook his entire body, rocketing it backwards into a solid surface. He felt warm liquid oozed down his smoldering chest, and his every nerve in his body screamed in panic. His eyes hurt from the saline blood leaking into the sockets so he squeezed them close, trying to push some of the fluid out.

His vision faded out to a black, but he could still hear. One voice he recognized as the one who probably shot him sighed disappointedly and complained about how he missed.

"Gezz Shawlong, I totally missed his heart! Looks like I hit a lung instead."

"Look again. You hit it, but not in the correct place. Hitting there only causes the victim extreme pain and a death thirty minutes later."

"Oh well! Hope you enjoy dying!" The sinister voice called to him in a mocking tone. "You better hope that you don't have any family here, because they are probably going to die today with you."

My family?

No…not them…

Ichigo resisted the urge to stay down his brain cried to him and desperately twitched his finger as a fraught try to move.

Pain, what was that feeling like again? He had forgotten, and as he sat there dying; he tried to remember all the times he had felt that heart ripping feeling. But no matter how many times he tried to relive those times, they were just not strong enough to wipe the numb feeling of cold death.

(A/N: Okay, not to ruin the moment, but that last paragraph was probably taking the 'Wow. I'm dying.' Feeling too far. Just sharing my thoughts)

Suddenly, thick footsteps shoot the gravel and debris spread around the area he laid, and a he felt unknown eyes stare at him as he wheezed with every lungful of air.

Then the presence spoke.

"This is Captain Shirosaki Ogihci of he fifth division. I need back-up stat. I have a survivor."

**

* * *

**

**A/N:** I haven't updated in a while, so I'm pretty happy I did so today even if it isn't as good as the first chapter.


	3. Chapter 3

**Title: Trepidation (Chapter 3! wh00t!)**  
And as for the **rating** and **disclaimers **and stuff... same as last time cuz im too lazy to go look at what is there...

A/N: I would just like to clear something up, I did not write the first two chapters -_- Yes, lame, I know, but what can I say? anyway, had alot of trouble with this chapter (major writers block) so I hope it meets your expectations! :)

* * *

Ichigo stirred in his sleep. He was slowly regaining conciousness, and he still felt the blissful warmth of his dreamless resting state. Then, a wave of pain hit him like a jet plane. It was like he'd fallen several stories and suddenly crashed to the ground. He couldn't even distinguish where the pain was coming from; the intensity of it almost knocked him back into unconciousness. He tried desperately to remember what caused this unbearable pain. But it was like there was a wall that began at the beginning of the week and ended when he'd awoken moments ago.

That was when his mind started spinning with the terrifying possibilities of his current situation. Was he captured by the enemy and tortured? But he reassured himself that that wouldn't make sense; he was just a high school student after all. He didn't know anything about the war aside from what he heard about on the news. Or... had he seen something he shouldn't have, and now he couldn't remember? He balled up his fists and forced himself to stop thinking so negatively. Instead of speculating wildly about things that almost definately never happened, he needed to focus his efforts on finding out what had happened. And his location would definately help him figure out the truth. He let out a deep breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding; and relaxed his muscles.

He forced his honey-brown eyes open, and immidiately clamped them shut again. Harsh white light illuminted the room he was resting in. But now that he knew about the lights; he was able to steel himself against the shock to his retinas and crack his eyes open just wide enough to see. The teen lay in the same position for a minute or two in order to let his eyes adjust to the lighting, then glanced slowly around the enclosure.

The first thing he noticed was the stark white color of everything in sight. The walls, the bed he was laying on, and the door on the other side of the room. Definately not a torture center. However, he was slightly unnerved that there were no windows in the room, cutting him off from whoever had brought him there. As he continued his strict evaluation of the white-washed room, the doorknob turned slowly. He froze, immidiately thinking the worst.

But his suspicions were proven wrong yet again when a woman with black hair and kind blue eyes peered in at him.

"Oh, you're awake. That is very good young man. There are a lot of people wondering who you are. My name is Retsu Unohana, by the way. Nice to meet you." The woman, Unohana, smiled kindly and all of Ichigo's worries were shoved to the back of his mind. It suddenly made sense. He wasn't in some sinister government facility; he was in a hospital. It was justifiable; considering the fact that his injuries felt pretty serious.

"Nice to meet you too. My name is Ichigo Kurosaki. And... where exactly am I Unohana-san?" The nurse smiled encouragingly at the orange-haired male.

"Hello Ichigo, you are at a hospital. We're not quite sure what happened to you; but captian Shirosaki Ogihci of the fifth division found you and you were badly injured. It's a good thing he found you when he did; or you would've died." Her last statement was a real wake-up call for Ichigo. What if he wasn't in Karakura anymore? Where was his family? Were they worried about him? Or worse, had they gotten hurt too?

"Are you feeling alright? Your face suddenly became much paler..." the nurse inquired.

"Is my family OK? Isshin, Karin, and Yuzu Kurosaki?" the orange-haired teen almost screamed. His voice cracked from disuse, which made Ichigo think that he'd been unconcious for more than a few days.

Unohana could tell that the teen was becoming agitated.

"I haven't heard anything about anyone with those names; but I can check for you if you'd like," she said soothingly. Ichigo laid his head back onto the pillow and stared at the ceiling.

"Unohana-san..." Ichigo whispered. He was going to ask what had happened to him, when someone called to her from out in the hallway.

"Excuse me, but I have to go now. I'll send someone in to check on you soon."

"Oh... okay," he replied unsurely. He had been about to ask where in the world he was, and it was beginning to bug him.

He lie awake in the room for what seemed like days by himself. There was no clock, and no windows, so he had no way of knowing what time it was.

Then, without warning, the door opened. Ichigo turned his head, expecting to see the nurse Unohana-san had promised to send. Instead, he saw a very intimidating looking man. What surprised him most about the man was that he resembled Ichigo himself fiercely.

The man was an albino, with pure alabaster skin and hair every bit as white. He had yellow-brown eyes and unusual black sclera. There was a feral beauty about this man, he moved gracefully yet distinctly and he had a self-satisfied smirk on his face.

"You're awake, huh?" Ichigo just stared at the man, unsure of whether to answer him or not. His eyes were narrowed suspiciously, he didn't know what to make of the strange man walking into the room.

"I'll take that as a yes... So how ya feelin' kid?" he asked. Ichigo detected some real concern in his voice, so he decided to answer him.

"I feel like shit," Ichigo stated bluntly. The man looked stunned for a second, then burst out laughing. It was a strange, slightly psychotic-sounding laugh, but it wasn't threatening. Ichigo couldn't help but smile just a little.

"I'm Shirosaki Ogihci, nice to meet cha' kid," the man introduced himself after he recovered from his laughter.

'Where have I heard that name before...' Ichigo asked himself. Then he remembered. Unohana-san had said that this man saved him life. Ichigo looked at him, wide-eyed.

"Wha's wrong kid?"

"Unohana-san told me... that you saved me..." he said.

"Oh, that? It's nothin', I'm sure someone woulda' found ya' in time even if I didn't..." Shirosaki said, shocked at Ichigo's reaction.

"But they didn't find me. You did. Thank you."

"Don' mention it kid," Shirosaki replied, smiling.

"That said..." Ichigo began.

"Hm?" Shirosaki wondered.

"Don't call me kid."

Shiro laughed.

* * *

"So yer name's Ichigo Kurosaki, huh?" Shirosaki asked.

"Yeah."

"Well Ichi, you can call me Shiro, 'kay?"

"Sure." Ichigo and Shiro had been talking for awhile, and Ichigo found himself liking the man. He came off as a strange person, but was actually quite likeable once you got to know him.

"Well Ichi, I gotta go fer' now, but I'll see ya' later, 'kay?" Shiro said.

"Yeah, sure. See you later Shiro." Ichigo said brightly.

As Shiro turned around to leave the room he thought, 'Might as well wait til I absolutely have to to tell him... God, all those kids and he's the only one who made it...'

* * *

The next few days were a blur of eating and sleeping for Ichigo. Nurses came and went, but Shiro hadn't come to see him yet.

Then, one day when Unohana-san was explaining that he should try to walk around a litlle, Shiro burst in the door.

"Hey Ichi, miss me?" he hollered.

"Captain Ogihci, please be quiet, you are in a hospital after all," Unohana-san said calmly.

"Yeah yeah. So Ichi, whaddaya say I show you around a bit?" Shiro said a bit apprehensively.

"I'm not sure he's up for that yet..." Unohana said.

"Weren't you just saying he needed to get up and walk around? Well come on Ichi, let's go," Shiro replied.

So Ichigo (with a little help from Unohana) got up and put on some scrubs they had lying around (he refused to wear the hospital gown out of the room) and left the room to walk around with Shiro.

As Shiro passed Unohana, he cast a nervous glance at her. She wouldn't look at him.

* * *

A/N: Okay, sorry that was so short and sorry it took so long -_-' I get writers block like every 2 seconds, so I had some trouble... So as you can tell, something ominous is coming up (cue spooky music) and the next chapter will be Shiro showing Ichigo around the...uhmm...  
...**place** that they're in. Tho you guys probably already figured that out, you are smart cookies ^_^ So, until next time... R&R plz!


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